How to use these prompts
Pick one prompt, not five. Set a timer for two minutes and answer it out loud or on paper, without tidying it up. The first answer is usually the polite one, so keep going a little past it.
Talking tends to get past the polite version faster than writing does. That is the idea behind Shadow Work: you tap record, say your answer, and over the weeks it shows what you keep returning to.
The prompts start gentle and get deeper. Stay in the first group for as long as you like. Nobody is grading the pace.
Gentle ones to start with
These ask about your week, not your childhood. They are a way of getting used to hearing yourself.
- What did you put off this week, and what did you tell yourself about it?
- What is one thing you said yes to that you wanted to say no to?
- When did you last feel a small flash of irritation, and what set it off?
- What are you pretending not to be tired of?
Envy and resentment
Envy is useful data. It points at something you want and have not admitted. Resentment often points at a limit you did not set.
- Who do you scroll past quickly because it stings, and what do they have?
- What does someone else have that you pretend not to want?
- Who are you still annoyed at, and what do you wish they would admit?
- What favor or job are you doing that you quietly resent?
Avoidance
Avoidance rarely looks like avoidance. It looks like being busy, or waiting for a better time. These prompts ask what the delay is protecting.
- What conversation are you rehearsing but not having?
- What would you do this month if you knew nobody would judge it?
- What message have you read and not answered, and why?
- What do you change the subject to when it gets close?
The stories you tell
Most of us have a handful of lines about ourselves that we repeat as fact. Jung's idea was that the shadow holds what does not fit the self we present. Checking those lines is one way to see what got left out.
If any of these feels too heavy, stop. This is a reflection habit, not therapy, and a friend or a licensed professional is the better place for the hard stuff.
- What do you say about yourself that you have never actually checked?
- What do you criticize in other people that you do too?
- What would the people closest to you say you avoid?
- What are you most afraid someone would find out about you, and is it as bad as it sounds?
Common questions
How long should each prompt take?
About two minutes is enough. If you want to keep going, do. If you run out of things to say, that is fine too, and you can try the same prompt next week.
Should I write or talk my answers?
Either works. Writing is slower and easier to polish. Talking is messier, which many people find more honest. Research on expressive writing is mixed, so treat both as a habit, not a guarantee.
Should I repeat prompts?
Yes. Answering the same prompt a few weeks apart shows what has changed and what has not. A repeated answer tells you where to look.
What if a prompt brings up something heavy?
Stop and take a break. Shadow work is not therapy and does not diagnose anything. Talk to someone you trust or a licensed professional, and call your local emergency line if you are in crisis.
Sources
Keep reading
Not therapy. Shadow Work does not diagnose anything. If you are in crisis, contact a local emergency line.